Metallurgy for beginners

Blackadder:  You have absolutely no idea what irony is, have you Baldrick?
Baldrick:  Yes I have. It’s just like steely and goldie, ‘cept it’s made of iron

Sorry, but I have reverted to some of my favourite comedy – Blackadder.  this kind of wit will make me laugh for the rest of my days (which should be many)

Blackadder and Baldrick

It is really amazing that something that was created over 20 years ago, a comedy to boot, is just as funny today as it was then.  Undoubtedly there are many reasons for its success; the script, the acting, the actors and so on, but a timeless period sitcom has no reason to age


All the intelligence of a Pot Noodle

I doubt Constable Goody would “get it”, if it came in a large bag marked, “IT”.

It is too good an opportunity, whilst we are on the subject of The Thin Blue Line, to pass up this quote.  Similar to many Blackadder style of quotes (e.g. ” subtle plan”), and delivered by the same comedian, it has the same effect on the audience – laughter.

The Thin Blue Line

The Thin Blue Line was set in the police station of the fictional English town of Gasforth.  One of the main themes was the rivalry between Inspector Fowler (Rowan Atkinson) and the CID led by Detective Inspector Grim (David Haig).  Only 14 episodes were made  😦


Keen of eye, swift of thought, and regular of bowel

The artful dodger was a thief.  And I don’t think he’d have considered himself quite so “at home” in a juvenile detention centre, which is where I’d have put him. Thieving is thieving and no amount of oom-pa-pa or boom-titty-titty will change that.

For only 2 brief series this excellent sitcom graced our screens, depicting a slightly dysfunctional police force headed up by Police Inspector Raymond Fowler

The Thin Blue Line

The Thin Blue Line was yet another successful sitcom for Rowan Atkinson to captivate an audience, together with the writing talents of Ben Elton, considered to be one of the finest comedies of the 90’s,  it seems a shame it ended so quickly.


It was naughty and bad of me

If you weren’t quite so big, it’d be time for Mr. and Mrs. Spank to pay a short sharp trip to Bottyland

Another Blackadder II quote, this time from Nursie in the episode called “Money”.


With Edmund desperately trying to earn £1000 to pay off the loan from the baby-eating Bishop of Bath and Wells, Queenie and Melchett play repeated tricks on Edmund and demanding money from him for his troubles.  Following one such trick, Queenie apologises to Edmund for being so naughty saying “It was naughty and bad of me”.  The quote is Nursie’s response to this.


You have a woman’s bottom

Captain Rum: Ah, “Courtiers to the Queen”! You’re nothing but lapdogs to a slip of a girl!

Blackadder: Better a “lapdog to a slip of a girl” than a… GIT!

Taken from the series 2 episode “Potato”, Sir Walter Raleigh is home from his epic voyage and the everyone in the kingdom is celebrating – everyone, that is, except Blackadder.

Captain Rum

Just one episode Tom Baker contributed to Blackadder, and what a contribution, playing the legless Captain Rum (literally legless, as they were “sliced clean off by a falling sail, and swept into the sea before your very eyes”) – Rum’s quote “You have a woman’s bottom” particularly sticks in the mind – the full quote goes:

“You have a woman’s bottom, my lady.  I’ll wager that sweet round pair of peaches has never been forced twixt two splintered planks to plug a leak and save a ship.”


A plan so cunning you could brush your teeth with it

The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn’t he, Percy?

Hee hee!  Another gem from the never-ending treasure trove of Blackadder quotes – series 2 again and the episode called “Money”

Lord Percy

This quote from this series ranked number three in a list of the top 25 television ‘put downs’ of the last 40 years by the Radio Times magazine


The ape creatures of the Indus have mastered this

Edmund:  Right Baldrick, I have two beans, and I add two more beans.  What does that make?
Baldrick:  A very small casserole.

As mentioned on a previous quote, Blackadder is one of our all time favourites, so over this festive period we will stick with this truly exceptionally funny sitcom – series 2 for the time being.

Blackadder and Baldrick

The above quote comes from the episode entitled “Head”; here Blackadder attempts to teach Baldrick how to add, asking if he had “two beans, and I add two more beans, what does that make?”


Thatcher’s Britain and Anarchy

I told you a million times, do not exaggerate.

A more obscure quote now – you may just know the name of the character, and probably the actor, but you can never forget this massive cult sitcom from the 80’s.

The Young Ones

The Young Ones was a TV program that defined a generation, depicting a group of 4 stereotypical student types, who did anything but study.  Rowdy, rude, lazy, loud, messy and occasionally violent (in a slapstick way), Vivien, Rick, Neil and Mike ruled in this militant alternative comedy show.

Oh, and the quote, was by Rick (aka Rik Mayall)