Ooh Betty!

Betty Spencer: Our marriage was a great shock to her, she wanted me to marry someone else.

Frank Spencer: Who?

Betty Spencer: No-one in particular, just someone else.

Now I’m beginning to show my age – some really cringeworthy slapstick comedy by a true acting genious – someone who was also noted for doing his own stunts – Frank Spencer (aka Michale Crawford)

Frank Spencer

Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em was a TV classic that followed the accident-prone Frank Spencer and his tolerant, if long-suffering, wife, Betty, through Frank’s various attempts to hold down a job, which frequently end in disaster.  Frank’s catchphase “Ooh Betty” will forever be part of the British psyche.


Upper-class versus Nouveau Riche

My Grandfather used to have his eggs timed by the passing trains.   If they were hard-boiled he had the driver sacked.

Here is a past classic sitcom – a riches-to-rags-to-riches romantic tale of Audrey fforbes-Hamilton, and the new owner of the stately home she had to sell, Richard DeVere.

Penelope Keith and Peter Bowles played the two leading characters and was extremely popular, even though it only lasted 22 shows over 3 series.  To the Manor Born came 21st in Britain’s Best Sitcom, a public poll to find Britain’s favourite situation comedy


Metallurgy for beginners

Blackadder:  You have absolutely no idea what irony is, have you Baldrick?
Baldrick:  Yes I have. It’s just like steely and goldie, ‘cept it’s made of iron

Sorry, but I have reverted to some of my favourite comedy – Blackadder.  this kind of wit will make me laugh for the rest of my days (which should be many)

Blackadder and Baldrick

It is really amazing that something that was created over 20 years ago, a comedy to boot, is just as funny today as it was then.  Undoubtedly there are many reasons for its success; the script, the acting, the actors and so on, but a timeless period sitcom has no reason to age


Feline frolics

If my pussy isn’t attended to by eight, she needs a right stroking all night!

One final quote from Are you Being Served.  Mrs Slocombe was famous for one thing and that was her … cat (a.k.a. pussy).  So many innuendos were in Are You Being Served from many of the characters, it is Mrs Slocombe’s regular referral to her…cat, that is most fondly remembered (or should it be fondling…)

Mrs Slocombe

Mrs Slocombe was head of the ladies’ department and was as well-known for her changing hair colour as well as conversations about her… cat


A fresh serving of fruit

MRS. SLOCOMBE: Well, you are what you eat.
MR. LUCAS: How long have you been eating sour grapes and ugli fruit?

Very cutting.  Another quick-witted reply from the young Mr Lucas in Are You Being Served.

Are You Being Served

Such was the success of the program, one film was released using the same characters and cast; the fictional Costa Plonka was the resort; where else could it have been?


And I am unanimous in this!

MRS. SLOCOMBE: That’s how I met my husband, during an air raid. The bombs were raining down and I saw his face lit by an incendiary. He threw me on my face and said, look out, here comes a big one!
MR. LUCAS: I suppose there wasn’t much time for chatting in those days.

Ha ha!  Another double entendre from this classic British comedy, first making its TV appearance in the 1970’s

Are You Being Served

Mr Lucas, who was regularly put down by the more senior members of staff, was young, penniless, womanising junior salesman.  He usually had some witty retort, as shown above.

And the title of this post… one of Mrs Slocombe’s many infamous quotes.



I had just bent down to tighten my nuts, and there was a double yellow line, see? And next thing I knew, there was policeman behind me. He put a sticker on my helmet and tried to clamp me.

Fondly remembered, this sitcom was full of sexual innuendo and easy to identify characters.  Set in Grace Brothers, a fictional London department store, Are You Being Served lasted for 69 episodes over 10 years.

Mr Humphries

The show is remembered for its prolific use of double entendres with the base of the series making fun of the British class system.  The above quote from the “camp” Mr Humphries was arrived at whilst he was discussing having to hang onto backs of buses and skateboard to Grace Brothers to save money.


All the intelligence of a Pot Noodle

I doubt Constable Goody would “get it”, if it came in a large bag marked, “IT”.

It is too good an opportunity, whilst we are on the subject of The Thin Blue Line, to pass up this quote.  Similar to many Blackadder style of quotes (e.g. ” subtle plan”), and delivered by the same comedian, it has the same effect on the audience – laughter.

The Thin Blue Line

The Thin Blue Line was set in the police station of the fictional English town of Gasforth.  One of the main themes was the rivalry between Inspector Fowler (Rowan Atkinson) and the CID led by Detective Inspector Grim (David Haig).  Only 14 episodes were made  😦


Keen of eye, swift of thought, and regular of bowel

The artful dodger was a thief.  And I don’t think he’d have considered himself quite so “at home” in a juvenile detention centre, which is where I’d have put him. Thieving is thieving and no amount of oom-pa-pa or boom-titty-titty will change that.

For only 2 brief series this excellent sitcom graced our screens, depicting a slightly dysfunctional police force headed up by Police Inspector Raymond Fowler

The Thin Blue Line

The Thin Blue Line was yet another successful sitcom for Rowan Atkinson to captivate an audience, together with the writing talents of Ben Elton, considered to be one of the finest comedies of the 90’s,  it seems a shame it ended so quickly.


Get that, would you Barb?

Are you going to make a brew or what Barbara?  I’ve got a throat here like Gandhi’s bloody flip-flop.

Just one more for the road before we return to normality – another Royle Family quote, of which there are so many (and some I probably should not print, given the language content, but they are all so funny)

The Royle Family

Another Jim Royle special (I must get some other quotes from the rest of the family), but so much of it revolves around him, just sitting in the same old chair, in the same old dilapidated room, saying the same old things.  It is really a wonder why The Royle family became such a huge hit with audiences … but it did!  My Arse!