Three lions on a shirt

That’s the thing about your destiny how are you supposed to know when it arrives? How are you supposed to recognise it from random life?

Something a bit more contemporary this time, from a popular stand-up comedian,famed for his satirical and observational comedy

David Baddiel

David Baddiel became a stand-up comedian after leaving university in teh late 80’s.  Since then he has played significant contributions to “The Mary Whitehouse Experience” (which first started on radio), “Newman and Baddiel in Pieces”, “Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned” and “Baddiel’s Syndrome”

The title of this post relates to the hit single he had with Frank Skinner for the Euro 96 football tournament


Naff off!

There are only two rules in this prison:

1 – Do not write on the walls.

2 – You obey all the rules.

ROFL – yes, an immortal line from one of the top, top comedy programs of all time, with a legendary cast list and writers and awesome script writing this is a timeless piece of British comedy.

Fulton Mackay

Ronnie Barker stars as Norman Stanley Fletcher, trying to keep his nose clean, and guiding his young ‘roomie’ Godber, whilst residing in HMP Slade.  However, it the prison officer Mr Mackay that almost steals the show, and it his quote listed above.  The writers even created some new slang that is now part of everyday life – that is how embedded into TV history this series is.


Space Corps Directive 34124

Rimmer: Step up to Red Alert!
Kryten: Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

Continuing from yesterday’s post, it is impossible not to mention yet another quote from Red Dwarf.  Also alluding to the alert level being raised on board the ship, for the true impact, the whole sketch has to be watched.

Rimmer and Kryten

Taken from the episode “Legion”, I am of too shy a disposition to explain the title of this post (just search for it and you will see why)

As an aside, the words to the theme song for Red Dwarf are:

Its cold outside,
There’s no kind of atmosphere,
I’m all alone,
More or less.
Let me fly,
Far away from here,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun.

I want to lie,
Shipwrecked and comatose,
Drinking fresh,
Mango juice,
Goldfish shoals,
Nibbling at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun,
Fun, fun, fun,
In the sun, sun, sun.


A shallow guy with a great ass!

Cat: Forget Red — let’s go all the way up to Brown Alert!

Kryten: There’s no such thing as a Brown Alert, sir.

Cat: You won’t be saying that in a minute! And don’t say I didn’t alert you!

Another one of my favourite comedy programs, a rare mix of science fiction and classic cult comedy – the above quote taken from the episode “Back in the Red”.

The Cat and Kryten

Lister, Rimmer and Cat made up the original occupants of Red Dwarf, which lasted for 8 series (and perhaps more), with Holly (later replaced by Hilly) the ship’s computer; Kryten and Kochanski were later additions.  Written by co-creators Rob Grant and Doug Naylor (under the pseudonym of Grant Naylor – geddit?) it centres around Lister, the last remaining human being in the universe (who was held in stasis for 3 million years) and his two accomplices, one a hologram and the other a descendant of Lister’s cat (“Frankenstein” after many, many generations)

With the whole series based around comedy, it is going to be difficult to narrow it down to only a small handful of quotes.  Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast!

(The title is the Cat’s observation about himself)



Contraceptives should be used on all conceivable occasions

Another true genius of British comedy, and just a tad eccentric too.  Spike Milligan was a comedian, writer, musician, poet, playwright, soldier and actor and graced the world of theatre, radio and TV for several decades.

Spike Milligan

Spike was probably most famous for his time with “The Goons” which produced some groundbreaking comedy and a partnership with the 3 other Goons that lasted beyond their graves.  After the death of Harry Secombe, a well-known singer, Millgan said, “I’m glad he died before me, because I didn’t want him to sing at my funeral.”  In a fitting comedy tribute, a recording of Secombe singing was played at Milligan’s memorial service.

Probably Spike’s most famous line was on his own headstone:

“Duirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite”

which is Irish for:

“I told you I was ill.”