One size does not fit all!

The other day I weighed my breasts to see how much they’d cost to post. Too heavy for 2nd class if you get what I mean…

Right up to date now with the 2011 Best TV Comedy Actress – Miranda Hart (aka just “Miranda”)

Miranda Hart

A very talented (and very popular) comedienne, writer and actress, Miranda is the talk of the town at the moment with her TV series.   She earned her reputation as a comedian from her stand-up and sketch shows at the Edinburgh Festival and on the London circuit.

UKCQ 😀

Stop fiddling with yourself!

I paid a quid for these underpants and I’ve got about 50 pence worth stuck up me arse!

Sorry, but I could not resist another Royle Family quote, of which there are many

Jim Royle

Brilliant delivery and timing goes to make this a bit of pure sensational comedy from the cast of the Royle Family.  Famed for picking at his body parts, Jim explodes with this witty retort when his daughter, Denise, suggests he should stop doing this.

The whole quote goes as follows:

Denise Royle:  Dad, stop fiddling with yourself.

Jim Royle:  I’m not fiddling with meself, I paid a quid for these underpants and I’ve got about 50 pence worth stuck up me arse.

Barbara Royle:  She’s right. If you’re not picking your arse, you’re picking your teeth.

Jim Royle:  I’ll pick what I want in me own house and when she gets her own house she can pick what she likes – her nose, her arse, her teeth. Just go and treat yourself.

Barbara Royle:  Oh, I’m ashamed of this family, I am really.

UKCQ 😀

A sensitive Glaswegian

If the Good Lord had wanted us to know about cuisine, he would never have given us crispy pancakes.

This dirty, rude, lazy, foul-mouthed, sexist, violent, alcoholic appeared on our screens in the 80’s and is still going strong.  Tackling many taboo subjects, Rab C Nesbitt reeks of dark, Glaswegian humour, when you can understand the heavy dialect (which actually makes it even funnier).

Rab C Nesbitt

It has been voted one of the 50 Best British sitcoms of all time in a wide-ranging poll of the viewing public.  Opinion can be divided though;  love it or hate it the performance if Gregor Fisher is fantastic.

UKCQ 😀

Get ready for this sweetie

Eddie: In this body there is a thin person dying to get out.
Gran: Just the one dear?

Eddy and Patsy were a pair of career women on the London fashion scene – both trying to appear younger than they actually were – a life revolving around alcohol, recreational drugs, and chasing the latest fads.

Absolutely Fabulous

The award-winning Absolutely Fabulous (BAFTA’s and Emmy’s), or just Ab Fab, has graced our screens since the 90’s and rumour has it there may be another series on the way, at least a 2012 Christmas Special perhaps.  Lovely sweetie-darling!

UKCQ 😀

A big fat quiz

I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read “Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water”. And I couldn’t help thinking, she should move.

Something slightly different now, with a current comedian specialising in a more sombre humour with a deadpan delivery.

Jimmy Carr

Jimmy Carr seems to appear everywhere at the moment; both TV and radio.  His style of comedy, of which there are many examples (some we will see more of in this blog no doubt), are similar to the quote above – a pretty ordinary observation or comment with a sharp witty comment appended that takes just a second to hit home.  Very clever and quite an endearing comedy style.

UKCQ 😀

Blackberry and Apple crumble…

I tried to put my dongle in it…and it won’t fit.

Yes, not the most humorous quote of all time, but it is taken from one of the most funny sketches of recent times.  The One Ronnie was a celebration of Ronnie Corbett’s 80th birthday and where he appeared alongside some of the biggest names in British comedy in a number of sketches.

Corbett and Enfield

A very clever play on words that Ronnie Barker would have been proud of, Ronnie Corbett and Harry Enfield act this sketch in the style of the Two Ronnies, but all relating to modern technologies (Apples, Blackberrys, Orange and so on).  The only just resist breaking out in laughter themselves.

The full video is here: My Blackberry is not working

UKCQ 😀

Barry vs Billericay

I’ve just been updating the MySpace, I’ve got 17 friends now, I’m snowed under!

Something bang up to date now – a multi-award winning comedy program, about an Essex boy and a Welsh girl who fall in love – that old chestnut…

Gavin and Stacey is essentially a romantic comedy drama set in Wales and centred around the 2 named characters.  However, it is Smithy (James Corden) and Nessa (Ruth Jones), the writers of the series, who seem to have the best lines and steal the show, although Rob Brydon contributes a massive amount with his character, Bryn.

The quote was made by Bryn (Rob Brydon) – does maintaining virtual friendships take more time than real ones?  For Bryn it seems to – Crackin’

UKCQ 😀

Top Bombing!

Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

A glorious double entendre from a very popular and hard-working comedian, who also more than dabbles in writing, acting and singing.  Like so many comedians, he has not avoided controversy and is as famed for his cheeky, baby-faced, northern dialect humour as his controversial quips at celebrities.

Peter Kay

Peter Kay regularly appears on TV and stand-up shows, and has worked with the BBC’s “Children In Need” appeal on many occasions, recording some notable chart hits along the way.  We particularly like his John Smiths advert entitled “Top Bombing” – a very funny advert for the well know British Beer.

UKCQ 😀